


He Chose Life

by jones18 (Chrindaj)



Category: Wire in the Blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-06
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrindaj/pseuds/jones18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fanfic involving Tony Hill and Alex Fielding.What drove Tony to kill the man he hunted? Continuation of Series 6 Episode 4 The characters in this fiction belong to Val McDermid and Coastal Productions. I'm just messing about with them a bit!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He Chose Life Chapter One

He Chose Life  
Chapter One

This was the last place she knew to search for him. Having no knowledge of where to look next, if he wasn’t here, only emphasized what she had already come to suspect. This man she thought she knew and would gladly lay down her life for was nearly a stranger to her. Was that his fault or hers or both?

Alex stepped into the darkened front entry of her home and turned on the light beside the door. To her relief she found Tony in her sitting room staring from the chair he usually occupied when their work together brought about long nights.

“I knew you would come.” His voice was strained.

“Of course I would. We’re in this together.”

Tony reached out his hand, needing to touch her. “Where’s Ben?”

“He’s with my sister. He’s staying a few extra days to visit with his grandfather and cousins.” She turned on the lamp near the sofa on the other side of the room and knelt down beside him, taking the hand he held out to her. “I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry. If I had only been there I would have been able to stop him from doing this to you. I should have been there to stop him.”

“If you had been there he would have slowly killed you in front of me and then left me to live with the aftermath. He wouldn’t need to kill me in that scenario; he could just leave me to my own devices. That would have been a stroke of genius on his part. Something to really get his juices flowing. No, it was better that you weren’t there.”

The side of his face nearest her was covered by a swollen, sickening purple and red bruise. His neck showed the telltale signs of strangulation. The broken blood vessels in his eyes were more evidence of the same. It was clear from the way he was having difficulty speaking that the damage to his throat went deeper than the surface bruising.

She gave him a discreet once over and realized he had come straight from the crime scene to her home seeking comfort. The suit he wore to her mother’s funeral earlier in the day, was torn in several places and his new dress shirt showed spots where the blood from his wounds had seeped through.

“Tony...” She brushed back the unruly hair from his face and lightly kissed the bruise on his cheek. “I can tell you haven’t been to see a doctor. You should have taken the ride to hospital Paula offered you.” The stitch worthy cut on his lip validated her assessment. “I won’t force you to go, but if you feel there’s a head trauma involved or an internal injury of some sort, we’ll need to go now.”

“Honestly, Alex. There’s nothing about my injuries that you can’t see for yourself. I’ll be fine now you’re here.” He rubbed her hand against his other cheek and then held it to him for a time before she cradled his hand in her own.

“If you’ll let me, I’ll help you clean yourself up and attend to the cuts and abrasions. You’ll feel better afterward and hopefully you’ll be better able to sleep once we’re finished.”

He stammered at first, embarrassed by the thought of Alex touching his battered body as she tended to him. He had fallen asleep many nights imagining what her hands would feel like as they left warm trails over the skin of his chest and stomach. Somehow he envisioned much different circumstances leading up to her touching him.

“I… I don’t have anything to change into once I’m clean.” He thought it a poor excuse, but a valid excuse none the less.

“It’s alright. I’m sure I can find a tee and some athletic shorts you can wear until we can get you to your place to pack a bag.”

“Not Gabriel’s, are they?”

“No, they’re not Gabriel’s. I don’t have anything of his he could lay claim to, except my son.” She hadn’t thought it would matter to him to whom the clothing had belonged. “They’ll be the workout clothes the precinct hands out at the yearly team building conference. I never wear them because they’re always sized for men. But they should fit you just fine.”

“Wait. Did you say ‘pack a bag’?”

“Yes. In the morning, if you’re up to it, I’ll take you to your flat to pack a bag.”

He held a look to his face which led her to believe he hadn’t expected to spend one night, let alone several. “You didn’t think I was going to let you stay in your flat by yourself, did you? You need medical care and since I know you won’t go to A&E to get it, you’ll have to stay here with me for a few days so I can tend to you properly.” She let go of his hand and made her way toward the hall leading to her bedroom. “I’ll find the clothes and run the water. You come in when you’re ready and I’ll help you get out of those filthy clothes and into the bath.”

 

****

 

Tony wandered down the hall past Ben’s room, wincing from the pain and stiffness consuming his body. He reluctantly stuck his head inside what he believed to be Alex’s room and discovered the flat included a master bedroom suite. The place looked much too small from the street to include such a thing.

“Are you ready then?” she tossed the newly covered pillows onto the clean bed sheets and pulled the duvet over them. “You’ll find a clean set of towels on the counter and shampoo and body wash on the side of the tub. You’ll have to settle for smelling clean, but a bit like a fruit salad until we get what you need from your place. Sorry, it’s all I have.” She came close and began helping him remove his suit jacket. “I put plenty of bubbles in the bath so that if you find you can’t wash yourself, I can help you without compromising your modesty.” Alex smiled and then looked back to what she was doing.

His modesty was the only thing on his mind at the moment, besides her. What was worrying him was the physically stirring he felt as she started removing his clothing. He was convinced she would find his reaction inappropriate if she knew. Men found their comfort in physical intimacy. He was a man and he was no different. Though his was a normal reaction not only to her and the emotional and physical state he found himself suffering under, he didn’t want their first act of intimacy to be driven by his need to reconcile his humanity.

She was so close he could smell her, which made it difficult for him to think of anything else. The closeness of her body to his only served to emphasize his physical need for her. He forced himself to focus on the latest heart wrenching loss which removed Newcastle United from the Premier League, but it wasn’t very helpful in silencing his body’s response.

“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Alex tossed the jacket into the seat of the chair in the corner of her room and started unbuttoning his dress shirt. Once she began removing the garment she realized there were torn button holes and rips in the fabric which rendered the new shirt useless. She reached for the end of his sleeves and unbuttoned what was left of the cuffs encircling his battered hands. If his hands were any indication of the struggle he put up against Michael, he had made a commendable showing.

“I’m going to slide the shirt off your shoulders so you don’t have to raise your arms to remove it.” Alex opened the body of the shirt and found a large discolored area claiming the left side of his ribcage. She ran her hand over the extent of it and he shuddered beneath the contact. She looked up at him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t. It’s just…well…it’s been a very long time since I’ve been touched like that, and naturally my body reacted. No worries. It won’t happen again.”

A knowing smile crossed her lips as she asked him to breathe deep. “Are you finding it painful to take in a cleansing breath?”

“Not any more painful than what I’m already experiencing.”

“That’s good. I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary under the discoloration, so I think we’re dealing with badly bruised ribs. You let me know if breathing becomes difficult.”

“Of course. As soon as there’s a change, you’ll be the first to know.”

Alex slid the shirt off his shoulders and threw it on top of the suit jacket. With the shirt gone, she could see the full extent of the battle his body waged for his life. Scrapes, cuts and punctures covered the majority of his torso. The sight of him made her want to cry. Alex closed her eyes to push back the tears and said, “Let me have a look at the punctures so I know which ones will need attention.” There were only a few she would doctor. The rest of his wounds would be fine once they were clean and some antibiotic ointment was applied. She began to focus her attention on the belt holding up his trousers when Tony’s hands reached for hers.

“I’m fairly certain I can remove my trousers and pants myself.”

“I’m sorry, of course you can. Sit here on the side of the bed and I’ll take off your shoes and socks so you can finish undressing in the bathroom.”She stuffed the dirty socks into the scuffed shoes and helped him up from the bed. “I’ll be out here if you need me. Take your time. Soak a bit if you think it will help with the pain and stiffness.”

“Alex, I don’t know what to say.”

“Hush, now. Just agree you’ll be willing to do as I ask until you’re well enough to be on your own again.”

He shook his head, glad for the opportunity to be under the care and protection of the woman he fought death so desperately to see again.


	2. He Chose Life Chapter two

He Chose Life  
Chapter Two

 

It was clear he was going to need help bathing if he ever hoped to get out of the tub and into fresh clothing. He hated to admit it, but the whole bathing thing was taking a lot out of him. Which was maddening since all he had done so far was climb into the tub and attempt to scrub his chest.

“Alex, are you still out there?”

“Yes, I’m here. What can I do to help?” She moved to the closed door and waited.

“As much as I would like to be able to do this myself, I can’t. Would you please help me finish so I can get out of this god forsaken bathtub and into some clothing?” He corralled the remaining bubbles over his midsection and told her to come in.

The bathroom door opened and Alex stepped through with her eyes closed. “Decent?”

“As decent as one can be when one is lying naked in the bath.”

“What have you managed to scrub so far?” She knelt beside the tub and took the wash cloth from his hand.

“I’ve only managed a halfhearted attempt at washing my chest.” He felt ridiculous admitting this to her.

“Since you haven’t gotten far, we’ll start with your hair and work our way down.” She turned on the spigot and started pouring clean, hot water over his head with her hands. “Too hot?”

“What?”

“The water, is it too hot for you?”

“No, it’s fine, thank you.” He found the flow of water over his head and down his back and chest quite soothing in spite of the pain he was experiencing.

Alex turned the water off and moved to sit on the side of the tub so she could reach him more easily. She added shampoo to her hands and began washing his hair. As she ran her hands over his scalp, Alex could feel bumps on his head she was certain were fresh. “Is your head giving you trouble?” Deftly she maneuvered around the sore places to massage the remaining parts of his scalp and moved on to his neck.

“No. I’ve said I’m fine.”

“I only ask because your head has several cherry size lumps on it.”

“I’m sure it does. I’m fine, truly. Nothing to worry yourself over.” He leaned into her hands as she worked the muscles of his neck and shoulders. “You’re very adept at this washing thing.”

“It’s a mommy skill, you know. Of course I don’t have to help Ben bathe any longer and massage was never part of his bath time ritual. This particular bathing package I reserve for the beleaguered psychiatrists I find soaking in my bathtub.” She resisted the urge to kiss the back of his neck and his shoulders. Alex wasn’t sure what Tony needed from her at the moment, but anymore than the wisp of a kiss she had given him earlier, would feel like taking advantage of him in his weaken state. She wouldn’t do that unless it was a want on both their part.

Alex turned the water on again to rinse Tony’s hair and then wiped the water from his face with the clean towel she set out for him.

“Find a lot of those sorts in your loo, do you?”

“No. Just you so far. I don’t anticipate there'll be others.” Alex placed the newly lathered wash cloth on his skin and began tenderly washing his chest and arms before moving to his stomach. She was careful not to put undue pressure on his bruised side as she scrubbed. When she finished with his front she asked him to lean forward. “Just a bit, so I can reach the whole of your back.” She washed away more dried blood, discovering another puncture and more scratches in need of attention. Rinsing away the remaining soap suds from his body she handed him back the washcloth. “I’m sure you’re capable of washing your nether regions yourself.”

He blushed as he took the cloth from her hand.

“I’ll step out so you can finish here and get dressed. Let me know if you have problems with the shirt.”

 

****

 

When the door to the bathroom finally opened, Tony shuffled out half dressed. He managed the athletic shorts by himself, but the shirt was a different matter.

“Can’t raise my arms high enough to get the shirt over my head.”

“That’s alright. I need to tend to your wounds first, so it’s just as well you couldn’t get it on yourself.” She motioned for him to sit on the side of the bed, where she had pulled back the duvet. “You have several punctures you should really have a few stitches put into, but I think if I apply Steri strips to them, the sides will come together and they’ll heal properly. The rest of the scratches and abrasions will be fine if we apply ointment and keep them clean.”  
Tony sat down as he was asked and watched her as she prepared the Steri-strips for application. While he finished in the bath, she had changed into a tank top and pajama bottoms. Something he hadn’t expected her to do. Though it was a perfectly reasonable thing for her to do considering it was the middle of the night.

“You’re staring.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright. No harm done.” She climbed across the bed from the other side and started to work on his back. “Hold still and we’ll be through here in a few minutes.”

It took longer than the few minutes she quoted him, but she was still finished much quicker than he anticipated.

“There, all done.” Alex helped him on with his shirt and collected the paper scraps from the bed-cover. She took both the first aid kit and the scraps to the bathroom, and returned with a codeine enhanced pain reliever and a glass of water. “Between this and the pain med in the antibiotic ointment, you should be able to sleep fairly comfortably. “

Tony took the pills, finished off the glass of water and got up from the bed.

Alex grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going out to the sitting room to rest on the sofa. I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. I need to sleep.”

“No, you’re not going out to the sofa. You’re sleeping here, in my bed. The mattress in comfortable and the linens are clean.” She pulled the top sheet over the duvet and fluffed the pillow. “I’ll sleep in Ben’s room so I can keep an eye on you.”

“Alex, I can’t ask you to do this.”

“You’re not asking me, I’m volunteering.”

“You won’t get any sleep tonight and you’ll be worthless to your team because of it.”

“You forget I’m still on bereavement leave. My team doesn’t expect me back until Monday at the earliest.” Lovingly she pulled him to her. His heart pounded so fiercely she could feel it beating out its rhythm against her chest. “Tony, I almost lost you today. I can’t begin to fathom what my world would be like without you in it. Please, let yourself need me. Just this once let me care for you the way you care for me.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck. “Alex, why do you think I’m here?”


	3. He Chose Life Chapter Three

He Chose Life  
Chapter Three

 

“Please, don’t go. Lay with me until I fall asleep.” She asked him to need her. How deeply he needed her, he was sure she would never fully realize. Alex had been his lifeline to the world the last three years. The person who kept him grounded, but above all else, she was the person who loved him and accepted him for what he was. The reason he survived the attack was her. The reason he wanted to survive was her.

Alex stood in the darkened doorway, silenced for the moment, torn between who they were now and who they would be if she laid beside him as he asked. “If I stay with you, things will change between us. You realize that don’t you? Intimacy, of any kind, has a way of changing things.” In truth, Alex was more than ready for the next step in their relationship.

“I’m not asking you to make love to me. What I’m asking for is your help. I want to feel human again. I want back what Michael took from me when he forced me to become someone I’m not.”

He looked so frail, so childlike beneath the bed-covers that she couldn’t help but acquiesce when he reached out his hand to her.

“Please, for a little while, just until I fall to sleep.”

She went to the other side of the bed, turned off the lamp, leaving them in darkness. Feeling her way into bed, she slid beneath the covers, unsure of how to help. If he were her son, she would know exactly what to do. She would wrap him in her arms, hold him close and stroke his hair and back until she heard him begin to snore softly, then she would place him in his bed. Tony was not Ben. The boundaries that held them at arm’s length, she allowed to blur to the point that she no longer had any idea what was appropriate comfort and what was not. “I don’t know what it is you want from me. Shall I hold you, cuddle to you? I don’t know what to do to help you through this.”

“I just need you to be near, that’s all, just be near.”

Alex moved closer to his back and ran her hand down his shoulder to his hand, where she intertwined her fingers with his. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

Drawing his arm up so her hand rested against his chest, he told her no. “There’s no pain involved in the act of tenderness, Alex.”

The warm scent of strawberry and mango melon filled her nostrils as she rested her cheek on the nape of his neck. Gradually she could hear his breathing start to slow as he surrendered himself to the solace she offered.  
She lay there against him for so long she thought he had surely fallen asleep, until she felt him take in a deep breath to speak.

“Alex, have you ever been near death? I mean so near you felt certain there was no escaping it.”

“No, Tony, I haven’t.” She had seen death take many people during her career; it just never stopped for her.

“People say the moment you realize death is near, the events of your life stream before you, like an old home movie. Short, unfocused and unalterable. But that’s not what happened. Yes, the movie played, but it wasn’t my past. It was all the things I wanted in my life. The things I wanted from it but never allowed myself to have. “

“I don’t understand.” She nuzzled his neck and kissed the abrasion on his shoulder she knew was hidden beneath his shirt, in an attempt to get him to settle back into rest.

“It was a montage filled with regret. Regret over never allowing myself to live because I feared being known, really being known.”

“You don’t have to do this now.”

“No, I need to tell you this before I lose my nerve.”

“Tony…”

“Please, listen to what I have to say.” He rolled onto his back so he could see her face. “You have no idea, do you?”

“No idea of what?”

“What you snatched me from that day on the roof top, the day you offered me a place in your world.”

“I offered you my friendship and my care. You were floundering.”

“You validated my existence.” He stopped to regroup his thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is… what you did that day changed everything for me. Not only did you save me from myself, you brought me hope. Hope of love, hope of true acceptance. You didn’t need me for what I added to your team, you wanted me for what I brought to your life. No one ever wanted me in that way before you. Not even Carol.”

Alex placed her finger to his lips. “Let’s not talk about the past.”

“I have to finish, Alex. I can’t leave this for another day because there may not be another day. You have to understand, if something like this happened before I met you, I would have let him kill me. I had no reason to think my life would be any different or any better if I survived.” He placed a length of her hair behind her ear. “Knowing that there was still so much to experience together and so much left unsaid between us, made the thought of leaving you unbearable. The prospect of seeing you again to do and say all those things we’d left undone gave me a reason to fight. ” Tony leaned into her and placed his lips timidly on her at first, until he realized her mouth was welcoming his. They each lingered over the others lips, giving and receiving the tenderness of first kisses.

“I’ve wanted to do that for such a long time.” Tony rested his forehead against hers and flashed the brilliant smile he reserved only for her.

“Better than your dreams, then.” Her lips drifted across to the cut at the corner of his mouth.

“Oh, so much better.” He cupped her face in his hands and began kissing her as though he felt he would never have the opportunity to do so again.

Feeling his want, Alex pulled him closer. Unwittingly she had taken hold of his bruised side, throwing him into a storm of pain.

“Oh, Tony, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I got caught up in the moment and forgot you were so badly hurt.” She helped him lay back down and placed a pillow under his side. “Better?”

“Yes, much.” He settled himself beneath the bed covers again and when the pain became more tolerable, he began running his hands through her hair. “You know the way you gather your hair around to the other side of your head when you’re thinking.”

“Yes.”

“Are you aware that when you do that, the curve of your neck drives men to distraction?”

“Men, in general or you, in particular?”

“Me, in particular.” He chuckled, and ran the back of his hand across her cheek and down her neck to the indentation at the end of her throat. “You were doing it on purpose, were you?”

“Of course I was, but it didn’t work, did it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t manage to distract you in the least. Sometimes you can be so oblivious.”

“I resent that.” He found her hand which he kissed and then placed over his heart. “Socially inept, yes. Unsure of woman and how to relate, yes. Oblivious—never. Your attempts to pull me into sin did not go unnoticed.” He grinned and then became serious again. “I thought I was reading things into the situation that weren’t there. If I had acted and misread you, I would have ruined everything between us.”

“If I had shown up on your doorstep naked, would you have been unsure then?”

“Of course not. I said I was socially inept, not stupid.” He cupped the back of her neck in his hand and pulled her to him for another passionate, longing filled kiss.

Mindful of his wounds, Alex let her hand find its way down his stomach to the bottom of his shirt and carefully began pulling it up toward his head.

“Alex…” He tried to grab her hand, but she had snaked the shirt half way up his body before he could stop her. “Alex, what are you doing?"

“I’m demonstrating another mommy skill I’ve developed to perfection. You see it’s difficult to disrobe a child without waking them up.” The shirt was quickly pulled up over his head and tossed onto the floor with a triumphant flourish. “Years of getting Ben from the sitter’s at bedtime, gave me a lot of practice. I can take clothes off, or put clothes onto anything sitting up or lying down. Would you like to see me do it again?” She shot him a mischievous look.

He found her playfulness, sexy. Combined with the adrenaline already coursing through him, it was incredibly sexy, but he didn’t physically or emotionally have it in him to do anything but lie beside her and sleep. “I’m not in any shape for… well… you know. I’m sorry.”

“I know, luv. I just wanted to be able to touch you while you drifted off.”

 

“You called me ‘luv'.”

“It’s a term of endearment.”

“I know what it is; it’s just never been used when addressing me. ’Anthony’, ‘Tony’ and the occasional ‘tosser’, but never ‘luv’.”

“If you don’t like it, I won’t say it again.”

He rolled into her for a last kiss and a bit of a feel before he settled into her arms. “No, don’t do that. It’s growing on me. I think I like the sound of it.” He said it aloud several time, trying to get a feel for it. “Yes, I definitely like the sound of it and it implies…”

She placed a finger to his lips again. “Luv, you’re over thinking it.”

“Yes, you’re right, I am. New at this whole relationship thing, you know.”

“I know you are.” Alex wrapped her arms tightly around him and settled into the sleep awaiting them. “I love you, Tony. I have for a very long time.”

“Thank you, Alex. I love you too.” The words were foreign to his tongue, yet it felt absolutely natural to say them to her. He was going to make it a point to say them often so she would never forget.


	4. He Chose Life Chapter Four

He Chose Life  
Chapter Four

 

The aroma of perking coffee and searing sausages woke him seconds before his bladder bellowed its need for emptying. Tony opened his eyes, but didn’t immediately remember where he was until he caught a faint whiff of Alex’s perfume on the pillow beside his head. Their chaste encounter the night before was not a dream as he believed it had been which meant his near death experience was also not a dream. Nothing brought the latter truth to mind more thoroughly than the excruciating pain and stiffness wrenching his body as he tried to leave the bed to make his way to the toilet.

Sheer will and the undeniable call of nature carried him the distance from the bed to the toilet. He relieved himself and stood in front of the sink to wash his hands. Staring into the mirror, he ran his fingers gingerly over his face. He hadn’t shaved since the morning of Alex’s mother’s funeral. It had only been twenty four hours, but his beard looked as if the lapsed time was more the duration of a work week. Not that he could shave now, even if he had the energy to do so. It would be several days before his cheek was healed enough to take the stroke of a razor across it. He hoped Alex wouldn’t mind the scruffier version of himself she would be stuck with until then.

He washed his hands and splashed water over his face, running his wet fingers through his hair. Leaning in toward the mirror, Tony took a good look at the damage to his eyes and his cheek. A caricature of himself was the first thought that came to mind. He couldn’t believe Alex was even the least bit attracted to him last night looking the way he did. Love is truly blind, isn’t it?

He removed the hand towel from where it hung and carefully dried his face and hands. Hanging the towel back up, he notice the cut above his middle knuckle on his right hand was bleeding. The torn skin had reopened when he dried his hands. He removed a long length of toilet tissue from the roll, wrapped it around his hand several times and went in search of toothpaste or mouth wash, anything to take the sleep taste away. After that he would hunt for a plaster. He found a bottle of mouthwash under the sink and gargled. He forgot about needing a plaster and went to find the shirt Alex so deftly took off him before they fell asleep. It was on the floor at the foot of the bed when he finally found it. He was struggling to bend over to pick it up when he heard Alex enter the room.

“Good morning, sleepy head, I thought I heard you moving about.” She picked the shirt up off the floor and tossed it into the clothes hamper. “Let me have another look at your injuries before we get you dressed.” She made a slow circle around him, examining the integrity of her handiwork from the night before. The Steri strips seemed to be holding and doing their job. None of the other injuries showed signs of infection. “Everything looks fine, but your side doesn’t look as good as I had hoped it would this morning. Are you still able to breathe properly? There’s nothing keeping you from being able to take deep breaths is there?”

“No, Alex. I’m fine. I would tell you if I weren’t.”

“Good.” She kissed him and began guiding him back toward the bed.

“Alex, I still can’t…not that I don’t want to…I just can’t.”

She helped him back between the bed covers and slipped off her shoes. “I know. It’s alright. I just want to spend some quiet time with you before our day has to begin.” She climbed under the covers as well and motioned for him to come closer.

“What about breakfast?”

“It will keep for the time being. I, however, will not unless you kiss me again, the way you did last night.”

“And how was that exactly?” he asked. Though he knew exactly what kiss she meant. The intensity of her reaction at the time of the kiss surprised him.

“Let me see if I can refresh your memory.” She pulled him to her and began kissing his mouth deeply and tenderly, just as he had done to hers.

He responded with the same want he displayed the night before. Stopping himself this time before things went too far. “Sorry, Alex. I want to, but I don’t want to disappoint.” he rolled onto his back.

“Tony, I understand. And I’m not trying to force you. I’m sorry if it feels as if I am.” She moved to her side and began tracing shapes in the hair of his chest with her finger. “It’s just that I find you incredibly sexy, Dr. Hill. And since we’re together now, I can’t help wanting to be with you that way. “

“Yet another word never uttered in the same breath as my name. Sexy.” Being around her was an incredible boost to his ego. She had a way of building him up when others were only interested in tearing him down. At times he felt like a puppy, following her about for want of another stroke of the head and an utterance of kindness. Alex didn’t purposefully make him feel like that puppy; he made himself feel that way by allowing his insecurities to best him.

She smiled at him and asked, “Tony, have you done much dating?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because of the things you say and the way you behave. You show no self confidence for a man of your age when it comes to women. You seem to have no inkling that you could have any woman you wanted if you only asked.

“You should have been the therapist and not me. I didn’t realize you could read me so thoroughly.” She did have a way of seeing through him when others couldn’t. “No, I haven’t done any dating since finishing my doctorate degree.”

“None at all?”

“Dating and I have never really seen eye to eye. You’ve experienced firsthand what I’m like when I’m not on a date. A date would be me, just smelling better and looking nicer than I would normally."

“Why did you stop?”

“I suppose it was because the women I was interested in pursuing a long term relationship with, were only interested in sex with me, not a life with me. Apparently I’m a good lay, but good for nothing beyond that.”

Alex brushed his hair back with her hand. “It’s not true, you know.”

“What, the good lay or the good for nothing.”

“The good for nothing. I don’t see you that way.”

“I know you don’t.” He brought his tissue bandaged hand to his stomach.

Alex grabbed it and began unrolling the paper. “What have you done?”

“It’s nothing, really. My hand started bleeding after I washed it, that’s all.”

“So you wrapped it in this.”

“It was only meant to be temporary until I could find a plaster. You’re the one who took me back to bed before I could find one.”

“Let me get the plaster for you.” Alex left the bed and went into the bathroom.

A muffled ring from somewhere in the room, caught Tony’s attention. After a few rings he recognized it as the sound of his mobile, which was still in the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He grudgingly left the bed to answer it.

When Alex stepped back into the room she found him standing by the chair where she had thrown his clothing.

“Yes, I understand. I’ll be there within the hour.” Tony hung up and returned the mobile to the pocket he found it in. “That was Paula. It appears Michael filed a slander suit against me from prison, just before he escaped. She said she needs to formally take down my statement and then I’ll need to meet with the magistrate administering his case.”

“But you’re not well enough yet to be out like that.”

“The sooner I go to see Paula to take care of this, the sooner I can come back here to rest for the next few days.” He lifted the torn dress shirt from the pile of clothing. “I think we’re going to have to go by my flat so I can change into something more presentable than a tee and a pair of athletic shorts.”

“Yes, of course, I’ll get you a shirt.”

“Alex. Things are going to be fine. You and me and this situation with the magistrate, we’ll settle in to our lives and the case against me will run its course. You’ll see.”

“I know it will, luv, I know it will.”


End file.
